


The Truth of the Matter

by ClassicRockInTheTardis



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Parallel Universes, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-02-17 07:01:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2300693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassicRockInTheTardis/pseuds/ClassicRockInTheTardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose Tyler has to deal with life after getting abandoned in the parallel world. I had the idea after seeing Doomsday, so it's canon up to that point but not afterwards.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DEAD FIC

"Rose Tyler-"

And then he was gone.

And she was left standing there, crying on the sands of Bad Wolf Bay. He had burned up a star to say good-bye. But it still hadn't been enough. He still couldn't get to her, and she still couldn't get back to him. And that was the worst thing in any world. Because she wasn't even able to tell him the truth.

She found out a few days before getting his message. It should have been the happiest moment of her life. Instead it was the worst. Because he wouldn't be there, and she had no idea what would happen. If he could be there, or she with him, it would have been the best thing that ever happened. But without him, she didn't know what to do. And it terrified her. After all that had happened, all that she knew, she was scared. She, Rose Tyler, the Bad Wolf, was more frightened than she had ever been.

But the fear pulled her out of the depression that had held her in its grasp ever since she turned away from the wall. It yanked her from the cold, damp air that had enveloped her for weeks.

Then she got his message, and the fear turned to apprehension and anxiety. What should she tell him? What COULD she tell him? She would tear apart the universes to get back to him, if she could. And he actually could tear them to shreds. 

Who did she owe more allegiance to? The universes or...?

But in the end, none of it mattered. She went, driving for hours to get there. Of course she went. How could she not?

She didn't know what to expect once she got there. She just got out of the car and walked. She didn't feel drawn to a certain spot. Life isn't like it is in the stories. She just walked away, away from everything, trying to walk away from this world and back to her own. Back to her Doctor.

And then he was there. But not really. He was just an image, a ghost of the man she loved, an apparition lasting two minutes.

They talked. She couldn't even remember about what, really. Something about the Cybermen and Daleks. Lots of people disappeared. She was dead.

She tried to convince him she would be fine, even though "fine" was far from what she really was. She told him she still had her mum and dad and Mickey.

And the baby.

When she said it, that look flew to his eyes and she knew what she had to do. Even with as much practice as he had over his many years, he could never hide himself from her. To others, he may have been the Doctor, the more-than-a-man shrouded in secrecy. But to Rose, he was HER Doctor, her wonderful, fantastic Doctor. The man she loved. And he her. She knew that he would have torn both universes apart to get to he and their child. She knew by his eyes alone that if it was true, he would have stopped at nothing, destroyed everyone and everything he had to. He would have destroyed all of time and space for her.

So she quickly corrected, "It's Mum's."

And the relief on his face was so bittersweet it hurt. 

She was crying. She didn't even try to hold back the tears. This was one situation where she was allowed to cry. 

She told him she loved him. He told her her name.

But that wasn't what she was crying about. He never had to say he loved her. She knew. She'd always known. She's known before he did. He didn't need to say it.

No, that wasn't why she was crying. She wasn't even really crying because he was gone. 

Actually, that was part of it, having to manage everything without him.

But the tears weren't for her. They weren't even entirely for him. No, she was crying because of the reality of that she was avoiding.

Because they had only had two minutes, and sometimes a horrible lie is better than the bittersweet truth.


	2. Chapter 2

Rose still hadn't told her family. It was a month later, about 2 months along. She didn't know exactly how far, she hadn't gone to a doctor either.

She knew she had to tell her family eventually, if at least when it started showing. But there was no way she could go to an OBGYN. She was pregnant with a half alien child. Even if it looked human, people would notice that it had two hearts.

But would it? What would the baby be like? Half Time Lord, half human. She didn't know if that had ever happened before. Would it be like her or it's father or some combination of the two? And what would it do to her, having an alien child growing inside her?

She wouldn't be able to hide her secret forever, not from her family. She knew that. But she didn't know how or when to tell them.

She hadn't slept well in weeks. Not since she couldn't tell him. There were so many things keeping her awake, so many demons in the dark. Guilt over not telling him the truth. It was her fault he would never know about his own kid, her fault he would never know that he was a father again. Fear about what the pregnancy would do to her. And that ever-consuming worry about what the child would be. For all she learned, she didn't know nearly enough. She wasn't prepared to deal with this on her own. She didn't ever think she'd have to.

She'd just lay in bed for hours, staring at the ceiling as if it held the answers to all her problem, thinking and worrying, worrying and thinking. Every time she closed her eyes, images danced in the folds of her eyelids. Cybermen and Daleks, Bad Wolf and the TARDIS, every horrible and wonderful thing she'd ever seen. And his face. Always his face. Changing yet somehow staying the same to her. The look in his eyes right before she was pulled from him and he from her. And the weight of the truth he would never know.

More often than not, she'd give up on sleep completely and instead slip outside and watch the skies until she'd finally fall into a fitful sleep. Her mother would find her in the morning, curled up on the lawn chair, an imprint of the matted fabric on her cheek. Jackie asked no questions, she just brought breakfast, which Rose promptly threw up a few hours later. Her mother either didn't notice or decided to not ask, putting it down to stress.

Then she'd collapse in a chair or the couch, staring blankly at the walls, trying to wish herself back. Then lunch, puking, and more staring at the walls. Sometimes she'd pick up a book and pretend to read. Most days she'd skip dinner, telling her family she was going to bed early, when she would really just lie on the bed to stare at the ceiling instead of the walls. Sometimes someone would open the door to check on her, but she'd quickly close her eyes and pretend to be asleep. They'd want to talk to her. She still wasn't ready to talk. Then she'd just stare at the ceiling for hours, watching the night fall until she'd give up on sleep and go to watch the stars until sleep finally claimed her.

That was her life now. Staring, eating, puking, more staring. Wishing, hurting, hiding, just going through the motions to stay alive in this world when she'd rather be dead in his.

She guessed she was both now.


End file.
